Hey friend,
Let’s talk about something real today – how the holidays can feel both magical and hard at the same time.
You know those thoughts that creep in this time of year?
The ones that whisper:
“The holidays should look like they used to.”
“We should all be together; that’s what family does.”
“I should be able to create the most amazing holiday.”
But here’s what nobody talks about: Life changes. People change. Traditions change.
While some people are hanging lights and planning parties, others are quietly trying to figure out what the holidays mean now.
Maybe that’s you this year.
Wanna know something personal, that’s me right now!
Your holiday might look different because:
- Someone special isn’t at your table anymore
- Your family has changed through divorce or new marriages
- Old traditions don’t quite fit your life now
- The “perfect” holiday posts you see online feel far from your reality
Here’s what I want you to know: However you feel about the holidays, it is okay.
My bestie reminded me of that just this week.
She said, “You get to feel any way you want; no one gets to take that away.”
The good, the bad, and even the ‘ugly’ cry.
What Nobody Talks About
The truth is, holidays change because life changes.
Sometimes that means:
- Starting new traditions with a blended family
- Finding peace in quieter celebrations
- Figuring out how to split time between different households
- Missing someone who used to make the holidays special
- Dealing with family dynamics that feel complicated
And you know what? It’s all normal. Every single bit of it.
Making Space for What Is
What if this year, we stopped pushing ourselves to make everything look like it used to?
What if instead, we:
- Let ourselves feel whatever we’re feeling
- Created new traditions that fit our life now
- Said no to events that don’t feel right
- Remembered loved ones in our own way
- Chose peace over pressure
Your Holiday Permission Slip
You have permission to:
- Feel both happy and sad (sometimes at the same time)
- Keep the traditions you love and change the ones you don’t
- Stay home when you need quiet time
- Celebrate differently than everyone else
- Set boundaries, even during the holidays
- Find joy in small moments
A Gentle Truth
As you move through this season, remember:
- Your feelings make sense
- Your way of celebrating is enough
- Your needs matter
- Your holiday story is yours to write
What You Can Do This Week
Choose one way to be gentle with yourself or someone else:
- Send a message to someone who might be having a hard time
- Give yourself a break from an overwhelming tradition
- Take a quiet moment to remember happy memories
- Reach out to someone whose holidays have changed too
Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is accept that holidays change because life changes. And that’s okay.
XOXO
Tonya
P.S. How are your holidays really going? If you need someone to listen, I’m here.
Sometimes just talking about it helps.
3 Ways to Find Support During This Holiday Season
→ Need a safe space to process your feelings? Sometimes talking to someone who understands can make all the difference. Let’s start with a conversation. Email me: hello@tonyakay.co
→ Finding it hard to set boundaries during the holidays? Learn how to honor your needs while navigating family expectations. Book a Breakthrough Call to discover how.
→ Ready to create holidays that truly reflect who you are now? Let’s work together to build celebrations that feel authentic and meaningful. → Book a “Finding Your Way” strategy session (We’ll create a holiday season that honors both your memories and your present reality)
