“I’M JUST PASSIONATE”

When Your Love for Work Sends Mixed Messages

Hey friend,

Let’s talk about something I hear all the time from successful, driven folks:

“I don’t expect my team to work like I do. I’m just passionate about this business.”

Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve said it yourself. I know I have.

It comes from a good place—genuine enthusiasm for what you’ve built, a deep commitment to your clients, and an authentic love for your work.

But here’s the question that’s been nagging at me lately: What message does our “passion” really send?

The Unspoken Language of Leadership

As leaders, we communicate in ways far more powerful than words. We communicate through:

The time stamps on our emails (1 AM, anyone?)

The vacation days we don’t take (or take but work through)

The weekends we spend “catching up”

The boundaries we don’t set for ourselves

When we say, “I don’t expect you to work like this,” our actions are often shouting something entirely different.

The Mixed Messages

We Don’t Realize We’re Sending

When there’s a gap between what we say and what we do, people always believe what we do.

Here’s what your team might actually be hearing:

What you say: “Take time off when you need it!” What your actions whisper: “But notice I never really disconnect…”

What you say: “Don’t check emails on weekends.” What your actions whisper: “Unless you want to be as successful as me…”

What you say: “Family comes first!” What your actions whisper: “But work is clearly my priority…”

What you say: “I don’t expect you to work like this.” What your actions whisper: “But I’ll notice and reward those who do…”

What you say: “I value your input and ideas.” What your actions whisper: “But I’ll fill every meeting with my own thoughts before you can speak…”

What you say: “We’re a collaborative team.” What your actions whisper: “But I move too fast for true collaboration to happen…”

The “Passion” Paradox

There’s a particular irony when we label our work habits as “passion”:

We wouldn’t accept “passion” as a healthy explanation in any other context:

“I don’t sleep much, I’m just passionate about Netflix.” “I never take breaks, I’m just passionate about running.” “I don’t have other interests, I’m just passionate about this one thing.”

In any other area of life, we’d recognize this as imbalance. Yet in business, we’ve somehow convinced ourselves it’s admirable.

The “I Just Move Fast” Problem

Then there’s the close cousin of the passion excuse – the speed myth:

“I just move at a faster pace than everyone else.”

“I’m always ten steps ahead – it’s how I’m wired.”

“No one can keep up with me, but that’s why I’m successful.”

This mindset creates a leadership style where:

Meetings become one-person shows with you performing while others watch

Agendas are packed with your new ideas before previous ones have been implemented

Team members don’t even try to contribute because there’s no space for their thoughts

“Collaboration” becomes agreement with your vision rather than true co-creation

Innovation stalls because only your ideas get oxygen

The unintended consequence? A team that stops bringing their full creativity, stops taking initiative, and eventually stops caring. They’re too busy trying to keep up with your pace to actually excel at their own.

I know you’ve been wondering why people don’t really participate in the meetings,like you’re dragging them across the finish line. Now you know.

What Your Team Really Needs from You

Here’s the truth that took me years to learn: Your team doesn’t need your constant availability, superhuman work hours, or rapid-fire idea generation. What they actually need is:

A sustainable model of success they can realistically aspire to without sacrificing their health and relationships

Permission to be whole humans with interests, needs, and lives beyond their job descriptions

Clear boundaries that show respect for their time and energy—demonstrated, not just declared

Space to contribute their own brilliance without competing with your constant stream of ideas

Time to implement and integrate before the next wave of initiatives crashes in

A leader who shows vulnerability by prioritizing their own wellbeing, setting healthy limits, and sometimes saying “I don’t know”

Consistency between words and actions that builds trust rather than creates cognitive dissonance

The Culture You’re Really Creating

When we work around the clock and operate at a perpetual sprint—even if it’s from “passion”—we create a culture where:

People feel guilty for not checking email on weekends (even if you say it’s fine)

Team members burn out trying to match your pace

The most dedicated employees start resenting their jobs

People hide their need for balance and boundaries

Success feels inherently unsustainable

Creative thinking gets replaced by reactive responding

Team members stop bringing ideas because there’s no room for them

Implementation becomes shallow as everyone rushes to the next shiny initiative

The organization develops attention deficit disorder – constantly starting, rarely finishing

Is that really the legacy you want to build?

From Passion to Purpose

What if genuine passion for your work looked different? What if it meant:

Creating sustainable systems so the business thrives without constant intervention

Modeling healthy boundaries so your team can do the same

Developing interests outside work that make you a more well-rounded leader

Building a culture where success doesn’t require sacrifice

Creating space for others to shine instead of always being center stage

Slowing down to move forward more effectively

Listening more than speaking in meetings

Valuing depth of implementation over quantity of initiatives

Imagine if your legacy wasn’t just a successful business, but a new model of leadership—one where achievement and wellbeing aren’t competitors, but partners. Where your team is truly empowered rather than constantly trying to catch up with your latest vision.

Your Leadership Alignment

Check If you’re ready to bring your words and actions into alignment, try these steps:

1. Audit your digital body language: What do your email habits, response times, and working hours communicate to your team?
2. Make your boundaries visible: Don’t just tell your team to take time off—let them see you doing it. Share what you’re enjoying outside of work.
3. Measure your meeting contribution: In your next team meeting, track how much you speak versus listen. Time yourself if necessary. Aim for talking less than 30% of the time.
4. Create implementation buffers: For every new idea you want to introduce, give your team time to fully implement at least two existing initiatives first.
5. Practice the pause: Before responding to a team member’s idea with your own, count to five. Give their contribution room to breathe before adding yours.
6. Celebrate whole-life wins: Recognize team members not just for work achievements, but for maintaining boundaries and pursuing outside passions.
7. Question the “passion” narrative: When you find yourself working excessive hours or dominating conversations, ask honestly: “Is this really passion, or could it be something else?” (Fear? Control? Need for validation?)
8. Redefine success metrics: How might you measure success beyond productivity and profit? What if team engagement, idea diversity, and sustainable pace were actually key performance indicators?

Your Permission to Redefine Passion Consider this your official permission to:

Show your passion through sustainability, not sacrifice. Love your work without letting it consume you. Build a business that thrives without constant attention. Model the balance that you truly want for your team. Create success that others can actually replicate. Move at a pace that allows for depth, not just speed. Listen more than you speak in your own meetings. Let others’ ideas shine as brightly as your own.

Your Passion-Balance Challenge

This week, I challenge you to demonstrate your passion for your business in two counter-cultural ways:

First, set a firm boundary around your time—perhaps leaving the office by 6 PM, taking a full weekend off, or declaring email-free evenings.

Then, communicate this boundary to your team not as an exception, but as an expectation: “I’m doing this because sustainable success matters to me, and I hope you’ll do the same.”

Second, create space for others to shine—in your next meeting, try this radical approach:

• Present the topic/challenge
• Ask for input
• Remain completely silent for a full minute (time it!)
• When ideas emerge, ask questions instead of adding your own thoughts
• Leave the meeting with more of their ideas implemented than yours

What messages might these actions send? How might they transform your culture?

I’d love to know: What’s one way you can demonstrate passion through boundaries rather than boundless hours? Reply and let me know!

XOXO,

Tonya

P.S. True passion isn’t measured in hours worked—it’s reflected in the positive impact you create, both through your business and through the cultural legacy you leave behind.

3 Ways to Lead with Balanced Passion

→ Break free from the passion-equals-sacrifice mindset. Discover how to love your work while honoring your whole life. Email me for strategies: hello@tonyakay.co​

→ Create a Sustainability System for your business that doesn’t depend on your constant attention. Learn how leadership evolves beyond presence. Book a Breakthrough Call.​

→ Lead a Culture Transformation that values results AND wellbeing. Show your team how success and balance can coexist beautifully. → Book a Sustainable Success” strategy session

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