YIKES…no one wants to be ‘THAT’ person. We believe we are as good as our word, but is it really true?
I know you’re intentions are good, but we need to have an honest conversation about something we’ve all done (and said):
“Let’s get together soon!”
“I’ll definitely call you this week.”
“We should talk about that next time we meet.”
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
Sound familiar? These little promises roll off our tongues so easily, don’t they?
The problem isn’t making these statements—it’s what happens next.
NOTHING
Zero follow-through, or you forget entirely. Honest mistake, right?
A quick note before we continue: This isn’t about shaming or blaming. We all do this. These patterns develop so gradually we rarely notice them. My goal today isn’t to make you feel bad, but to shine a light on a blind spot that might be affecting your relationships and reputation in ways you never intended. Awareness is always the first step to positive change. So let’s explore this together with compassion for ourselves and a genuine desire to show up more authentically in all our interactions.
But your friends, family, team, co-workers, they don’t forget.
We mean well.
We have good intentions.
But somehow, those coffee dates never get scheduled, those calls never get made, and those important conversations never happen.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth: Every time we say something and don’t follow through, we send a powerful message—one we never intended to send.
In the end, it breaks down trust.
The Currency of Trust
Think about it for a minute:
When you consistently say, “Let’s grab lunch soon” without ever setting a date…
When you repeatedly mention, “We should discuss this next meeting” but never add it to the agenda…
When you promise “I’ll get back to you tomorrow”, but days turn into weeks…
What’s really happening? You’re not just forgetting a task—you’re teaching people not to believe what you say.
It’s like writing checks your calendar can’t cash. And eventually, people notice.
The Gap Between Intention and Action
I get it. You’re not being malicious. You genuinely meant it in the moment.
You really did want to have that coffee catch-up.
You honestly intended to make that call.
You sincerely planned to follow up.
But good intentions without follow-through are like beautifully wrapped empty boxes—they look promising until someone opens them and finds nothing inside.
What They Really Think When You Don’t Follow Through
When we repeatedly say things without action, here’s what people actually hear:
“You’re not important enough for me to remember.”
“My words don’t need to match my actions.”
“Don’t count on what I say.” Ouch, right?
That’s certainly not what we mean to communicate.
But it’s what our actions (or lack thereof) are shouting, drowning out our good intentions.
The Real-World Impact
This pattern creates ripples you might not even realize:
In relationships:
Friends and family learn to make backup plans because “she probably won’t show up anyway.”
In business:
Team members start to work around you rather than with you because “she says she’ll handle it, but she never does.”
In leadership:
Your vision statements become background noise because “she always talks about changes that never happen.”
Even more painful? When you most need people to take your word seriously—they won’t. Because you’ve taught them not to.
Breaking the Cycle:
From Words to Action The good news? This pattern can be broken with awareness and simple shifts:
1. Say Less, Mean More
Instead of casually saying “Let’s catch up soon,” try: “I’d love to connect. Can we put something on the calendar right now?” Or simply, “I’ve been thinking about you” without adding a commitment you’re not ready to make.
2. The Two-Minute Rule
If you can follow through in under two minutes (sending that email, scheduling that coffee, adding that agenda item), do it immediately after the words leave your mouth.
3. Keep a Promise Journal
For one week, write down every promise you make—big or small. Check them off as you complete them. The ones that remain will reveal your pattern.
4. Create a “Someday Maybe” List
Instead of making vague commitments, keep a list of things you’d genuinely like to do “someday.” Review it weekly and move items to your actual calendar when you’re ready to commit.
Your Trust-Building Challenge
This week, I challenge you to become aware of the casual commitments that slip from your lips. Before saying words that imply a future action:
Ask yourself: “Am I willing to put this in my calendar right now?” If yes—do it immediately.
If no—rephrase without the implied promise.
Remember: Trust isn’t built through grand gestures. It’s built through small promises kept consistently.
What would change in your relationships if people knew that when you said something, it was as good as done?
Tonya Kay
P.S. Which relationship in your life could most benefit from more aligned words and actions?
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3 Ways to Build Trust (For Real)
→ Break free from the empty promises cycle. Become the reliable, intentional person you’re meant to be. Email me: hello@tonyakay.co
→ Master the Art of Meaningful Commitment. Because your word deserves to be golden—to others and to yourself. Book a Breakthrough Call. ​
→ Lead with Integrity (No More Empty Words). Discover how aligning your words and actions can transform your influence. → Book a “True To Your Word” strategy session.
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