WEARING ALL THE HATS…

THE LEADERSHIP DANCE

Hey you!

Ever notice how sometimes you’re wearing so many hats you forget which one you’re supposed to have on?

I had this moment recently when working with a client who said something that really made me stop and think:

That hit home, didn’t it?

Here’s the truth: Sometimes, the very things we think make us great leaders might actually be keeping our teams (and ourselves) from growing.

Think about it:

Have you ever found yourself jumping in to teach when someone really needed coaching?

Or

Managing tasks when what your team really needed was leadership?

Or

Training someone who actually just needed space to figure things out?

The Real Cost of Role Confusion

According to recent data from Gallup, only 21% of employees strongly agree their performance is managed in a way that motivates them to do outstanding work. That’s not just a statistic – that’s a wake-up call. I see this all the time with my clients.

When we mix up these crucial roles, we’re not just confusing ourselves; we’re potentially:

• Stifling innovation when we should be nurturing it
• Creating dependency when we should be building confidence
• Managing tasks when we should be developing people

Let’s break down these roles and discover when to use each one (and why it matters):

The Coaching Hat: Your Guide Hat

• WHAT: Asking powerful questions, active listening, facilitating discovery
• WHEN: Someone has the knowledge but needs clarity or confidence
• IMPACT: According to ICF research, 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence

The Training Hat: Your Skills-Builder Hat

• WHAT: Developing specific skills through structured learning
• WHEN: There’s a clear skill gap that needs filling
• IMPACT: Companies that offer comprehensive training programs have 218% higher income per employee (ATD research)

The Teaching Hat: Your Knowledge-Sharer Hat

• WHAT: Sharing expertise and information
• WHEN: Someone needs to understand concepts or principles
• IMPACT: Effective teaching can reduce learning curves by up to 60% (Corporate Executive Board)

The Managing Hat: Your Organizer Hat

• WHAT: Coordinating resources, tracking progress, ensuring delivery
• WHEN: Projects need structure and accountability
• IMPACT: Clear management can improve team productivity by up to 32% (PMI)

The Leading Hat: Your Vision-Holder Hat

• WHAT: Setting direction, inspiring action, building culture
• WHEN: Teams need purpose, motivation, and alignment
• IMPACT: Strong leadership can increase team engagement by up to 73% (Gallup)

Your Leadership Dance Steps

Pause Before You Pick Before jumping in with any approach, ask yourself:

• What does this person/situation truly need right now?
• Am I choosing this role out of habit or necessity?
• What would serve the highest good in this moment?

Match the Mode to the Moment

• Need someone to grow? Coach them
• Need someone to learn? Train them
• Need someone to understand? Teach them
• Need something done? Manage it
• Need people inspired? Lead them

Practice Role Flexibility Keep a “role journal” for a week:

• Note which hat you wear most often
• Track when you switch roles
• Reflect on the impact of your choices

Your Permission Slip

Give yourself permission to:

• Not have all the answers (that’s what coaching is for!)
• Learn alongside your team
• Switch approaches when something isn’t working
• Take time to reflect on which role is needed

None of these are easy, but they ARE necessary.

This Week’s Growth Challenge

Pick ONE interaction where you typically jump into teaching mode. Instead:

1. Pause and ask yourself what role would serve best
2. Try on a different hat (especially if coaching feels uncomfortable)
3. Notice the impact on both you and the other person

Remember: The magic isn’t in mastering one role – it’s in knowing when to use each one.

XOXO

Tonya

P.S. Which of these roles feels most challenging to you?

Tonya Kay Leader – Coach – Speaker

3 Ways to Level Up Your Leadership

→ Ready to master the art of wearing multiple hats? Let’s craft your unique leadership style. Email me: hello@tonyakay.co​

→ Want to develop your coaching skills? Let’s explore how to add this powerful tool to your toolkit. Book a “Leadership Evolution” strategy call.

→ Ready to lead with more confidence and less overwhelm? Let’s map out your leadership development plan. Book a session to explore your next steps.