Hey friend,
“I’m not sure if this is my intuition telling me to wait or just my fear holding me back.“
This is probably the most common question I hear from people I work with. And it’s a really good one.
Because let’s be honest…
Both fear and intuition can feel like a knot in your stomach.
Both can make you hesitate.
Both can feel incredibly convincing in the moment.
So, how do you tell the difference?
How do you know when to trust that inner pull and when to push through it?
Let’s dive in and find out.
When Your Body Speaks, Are You Listening?
Last week, I was on the edge of saying yes to a speaking gig that looked amazing on paper: an emotionally intelligent audience, great exposure, and a topic that aligned with me.
But something felt… off, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
My chest felt tight, and I had a lump in my throat every time I thought about it. I even had a dream where I showed up unprepared, and there were only five people in the audience. YIKES!
Was this fear trying to keep me small?
OR
Was my intuition showing a red flag about something important?
Fear vs. Intuition: The Crucial Differences
After helping so many navigate this terrain (and plenty of my own confusion!), I’ve been able to identify some key differences between fear and intuition:
Fear Expands When You Focus On It
When you sit quietly with fear and give it attention, it typically grows bigger. More catastrophic scenarios appear. More “what ifs” emerge.
Intuition becomes clearer and calmer with attention. When you create space to listen, intuitive knowing tends to solidify rather than spiral.
Fear Is Future-Focused
Fear is almost always about what might happen. It creates big stories about potential outcomes, usually negative ones.
Intuition is grounded in the present moment. It’s a clear signal about what is happening right now, not a story about what could happen tomorrow.
Fear Has a Frantic Quality
Fear often comes with a sense of urgency and agitation. It pushes for immediate action or immediate retreat.
Intuition tends to be steady and patient. Even when it’s telling you something needs attention, it rarely creates the same panicky rush.
Fear Is Noisy, Intuition Is Quiet
Fear loves to monologue. It shows strong arguments and evidence for why you should or shouldn’t do something.
Intuition shows itself as a simple knowing. It doesn’t usually feel the need to justify itself with lengthy explanations. It’s that feeling of ease.
The Alignment Test You Can Use Today
Next time you’re unsure whether you’re feeling fear or intuition, try this:
1. Create Container Time
Set a timer for 10 minutes of complete undistracted time. No phone, no email, no input.
2. Feel Into Your Body
Close your eyes and focus your attention on the sensation in your body related to the decision. Where do you feel it? What quality does it have? Just notice without judgment.
3. Ask These Revealing Questions
Then, ask yourself these questions and notice what shifts in your body:
“If I knew this choice would succeed beyond my wildest dreams, would I still feel hesitation?”
“If no one else would ever know about this decision, what would I choose?”
“Does this choice feel like moving toward something or away from something?”
4. Trust What Emerges
The answers might surprise you. Your body often knows what’s aligned long before your mind catches up.
Real-World Intuition in Action
Remember my speaking opportunity dilemma?
After sitting with it, I realized my intuition was flagging a misalignment. The audience wasn’t actually aligned with my core message, and I’d be creating something that wasn’t truly in my zone of genius.
It wasn’t fear of visibility (I love speaking). It was my intuition protecting my energy and integrity.
I declined gracefully and recommended a colleague who was perfect for the opportunity. Just a few weeks later, a speaking invitation arrived that was so aligned it made my heart so happy and a better fit.
That’s the magic of trusting your intuition.
It isn’t saying “no” – it’s saying “not this, because something better is coming.”
Your Fear vs. Intuition Challenge
This week, I invite you to:
- Identify a decision you’ve been wrestling with
- Try the Alignment Test described above
- Notice what becomes clearer when you create that space
Remember: Both fear and intuition are trying to protect you. But fear protects you from imagined threats, while intuition protects your alignment and authenticity.
Learning to distinguish between them might be the most valuable leadership skill you’ll ever develop.
I’d love to hear what you discover. What decision have you been struggling with, and what did you learn when you created space to listen? Hit reply and let me know.
XOXO,
Tonya
P.S. Want to dive deeper into distinguishing fear from intuition? Send me a message, and we’ll hop on a quick call to unpack it. It’ll be the best move you’ve made lately.
