Hey friend, Hi!
Ever notice how some conversations feel like you’re trying to speak underwater? The words are there, but somehow they’re not quite making it across?!
I had one of those moments recently.
You know the kind – where you’re sharing something important, but it feels like you’re speaking a different language than everyone else in the room? (UGH, I fumble my words and get all red-faced)
My AH-haaaa Moment:
What if the struggle to be heard isn’t about finding the right words at all?
Stay with me here, because this might just change how you show up in every conversation from here on out.
Think about it:
Ever perfectly rehearsed what you wanted to say, only to have it come out completely different? (guilty)
Found yourself getting frustrated when others don’t “get” what seems crystal clear to you? (guilty)
Walked away from a conversation feeling unheard, even though you said exactly what you meant to? (and, guilty)
The Surprising Truth No One’s Talking About
Here’s what I’ve learned after fumbling around:
The art of being heard has less to do with what we say and more to do with how we show up to say it.
WOWZERS, right?
See, we’ve all been taught that communication is about finding the right words, perfecting our delivery, or mastering body language.
But what if that’s only part of the story?
The real game-changer? It’s about the ENERGY we bring into the room before we even open our mouths.
Your “Being Heard” Blueprint
The Energy Check-In Before you speak:
- Are you trying to prove something?
- Are you carrying old conversation wounds?
- Are you actually present, or is your mind already spinning with assumptions?
The Permission Shift Give:
- Be imperfect in your delivery
- Take up space in the conversation
- Not be responsible for how others receive your message
The Presence Practice Instead of rehearsing your next line:
- Ground yourself in your body
- Listen with curiosity instead of preparation
- Trust that your authentic voice is enough
Unpopular Opinion [this changes everything]
Ready for this? Sometimes, the conversation that needs to happen first is the one with yourself.
Before you can be heard by others, you need to hear yourself – your true self, not the voice of “should” or “perfect” or “what will they think?”
Your 3 Power Moves for Today
- The Mirror Moment -Before your next important conversation, look in the mirror and ask: “What do I really want to say?” Not what you think others want to hear – what YOU want to say.
- The Energy Reset -When you feel unheard, take a breath and ask: “Am I trying to convince, or am I trying to connect?” The answer might surprise you.
- The Truth Pause -Give yourself permission to pause mid-conversation and say, “Let me make sure I’m expressing what I really mean.” (Trust me, it’s more powerful than pushing through with words that don’t quite fit. Ask me how I know)
Remember: Being heard isn’t about being perfect – it’s about being present.
Your voice matters.
Your message matters.
And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is trust that truth enough to let it speak through you, exactly as you are.
XOXO,
Tonya
P.S. What conversation have you been avoiding because you’re worried about being heard? Maybe it’s time to try a different approach.
Hit reply and let me know – I read every email!
→ Ready to dive deeper into authentic communication? Let’s explore how you can show up more powerfully in every conversation. Email me: hello@tonyakay.co
→ Want to master the art of being heard without compromising your authentic voice? Book a “Find Your Voice” strategy session, and let’s map out your path to clear, confident communication.
