How Busy, Successful Doers Can Make Real Friends (It’s Easier Than You Think!)
Hey friend,
Let’s talk about something that’s been coming up a lot lately – both in my coaching sessions and, if I’m being honest, in my own life.
It’s a topic that might hit close to home for you, too: making and keeping real friendships as a busy, successful doer.
This isn’t just coach-speak or theory. Over the past month, I’ve had client after client bring this up, each thinking they were alone in their struggle.
And here’s the kicker – I’ve been right there with them, facing the same challenges in my own life.
Remember when making friends was as easy as sharing your lunch at school? Now it feels like rocket science, right?
Well, you’re not alone in feeling that way. Let’s dive into why that is and how we can change it.
Why are we so lonely?
It’s ironic, isn’t it? We’re more connected than ever with divices, yet loneliness is at an all-time high.
Here’s the thing: we’re wired for deep, meaningful connections, but our fast-paced lives leave us feeling like we’re missing something.
- We prioritize productivity over presence.
- We mistake social media likes for genuine connection.
- We’re afraid to show our true selves, flaws, and all.
Why is making friends so hard now?
Remember when making friends was as easy as sharing your PB&J in the cafeteria? Now, it feels like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded.
Here’s why:
- Time is a Precious Commodity: Between excelling at work and managing family life, finding time for new friendships can feel impossible.
- It’s Scary to Open Up: When you’re used to being the strong one, showing your softer side can feel risky.
- High Expectations: We often expect instant connections, forgetting that deep friendships take time and nurturing.
But here’s the thing: having real friends isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.
Good friendships can:
- Help you make better decisions (at work and in life)
- Be your safety net when stress hits hard
- Spark new ideas and inspire you
Am I broken? What’s wrong with me?
Let me stop you right there.
You are NOT broken!
There is NOTHING wrong with you.
Feeling lonely or struggling to make friends doesn’t make you flawed – it makes you human.
- Your ability to recognize your need for connection is a strength, not a weakness
- The fact that you’re asking these questions shows your capacity for self-reflection and growth.
- Your past achievements prove you have the skills to overcome challenges – this is just a new type of challenge.
So, what can we do about it?
- Use your superpowers: You’re great at setting goals and making plans. Do the same for friendships.
- Quality beats quantity: Focus on making a few good friends, not collecting a bunch of acquaintances.
- Be brave and real: Share something personal with someone. It’s scary, but it’s how real connections start.
- Mix business with pleasure: Can you turn a work trip into a chance to connect with someone on a personal level?
- Put down the phone: Try spending an hour with someone without checking your phone. Real connection happens face-to-face.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with you if this feels hard. Making friends as a busy adult is tough, but you’ve tackled bigger challenges before.
Your homework this week:
- Think of three fun things you like to do that aren’t work-related. Take The Step: Invite others to join you.
- Reach out to someone you’ve been meaning to connect with. Take The Step: Set a date, and don’t cancel!
- Next time you’re at a work event…Take The Step: Try having one conversation that goes deeper than small talk.
- Send a message to someone who’s made a difference in your life. Take The Step: Tell them why you’re grateful for them.
You’ve built an amazing career. Now it’s time to build your circle of friends – one real connection at a time. You’ve got this!
Ready to give it a try? I’m cheering you on. Reply and tell me: What’s one small step you’ll take this week to connect with someone? Let’s brainstorm together.
Here’s to success in work AND in friendship!
XOXO
Tonya
P.S. Remember, your new best friend could be just one “hello” away. Take that first step – I believe in you!
Catch this episode where Jenna Kutcher, host of The Goal Digger Podcast, discusses “Cultivating Friendships As An Adult.” When it comes to fostering meaningful adult relationships, avoiding intentional connection isn’t an option.
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Tonya Kay – Coach for Doers Who Want More Out of Life |
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