Hey friend,
You know that feeling when something rocks your world before your morning coffee has even kicked in?
Those days when you think you should go back to bed and start all over?
That moment when an unexpected conversation catches you off guard, and suddenly your perfectly planned day feels… different?
Yet there you are, pushing through your schedule, checking off tasks, and telling yourself (and everyone else), “I’m too busy to deal with this today!”
Hold Please…
“Crazy-busy’ is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.” – Brene Brown
Sometimes “busy” isn’t really about being productive at all. Sometimes it’s our shield – our way of avoiding those uncomfortable feelings that are trying to get our attention.
Think about it:
- Ever noticed how your calendar mysteriously fills up right after a challenging conversation?
- Found yourself deep-cleaning or rearranging your desk when a difficult emotion surfaces?
- Suddenly remembered all those “urgent” emails when something unsettling is on your mind?
(I see you over there, reorganizing your files for the third time this week…)
Here’s the truth: Being “slammed” all day doesn’t always mean we’re getting things done.
Sometimes it means we’re running from the very things that need our attention. ←READ THAT AGAIN
What Does ‘Busy’ or ‘Avoiding’ Cost You?
When we push down those uncomfortable feelings and throw ourselves into “busy,” we’re not actually making them go away. Instead, we’re:
- Taking up valuable mental real estate (those thoughts are still running in the background)
- Draining our emotional energy (suppressing feelings takes work!)
- Creating future roadblocks (what we resist, persists)
Think of it like trying to hold a beach ball underwater – you can do it, but it takes constant energy, and eventually, that ball is coming up one way or another.
Pause to Process
It’s okay to:
- Feel rattled by unexpected conversations
- Take a pause when you need to process
- Let some tasks wait while you tend to your emotional well-being
What To Do Instead
Notice Your Busy Signal
- Is your calendar suddenly packed?
- Are you taking on unnecessary tasks?
- Is “I’m so busy” becoming your go-to response?
Create Space for Processing
- Schedule a 15-minute “feeling pause”
- Journal what’s really on your mind
- Take a walk to clear your head
Choose Completion Over Motion
- Focus on one meaningful task
- Allow yourself to feel while you work
- Celebrate real progress, not just activity
Give This a Try The Week
Instead of diving into “busy” when something unsettling happens:
- Pause for 60 seconds (or more if you need it)
- Name what you’re feeling
- Ask yourself: “What needs my attention right now?” or “Does this need my attention right now?”
Remember: Being productive isn’t about how many tasks you check off – it’s about moving forward with intention and awareness.
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop being busy and start being present.
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The honest truth…
I really needed this reminder this week. Just like you, I get caught up in the ‘busy’ more often than I care to admit, and today was one of those times when I needed to pause and focus on what matters.
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XOXO
Tonya
P.S. What’s one way you notice yourself using “busy” as a shield? Hit reply and let me know – I’d love to hear your insight!
→ Ready to break free from the busy trap? Let’s chat about gaining clarity. Email me: hello@tonyakay.co
→ Tired of pushing through instead of moving forward? Book a breakthrough call.
→ Want to lead with intention instead of reaction? Let’s create a strategy that works for YOU. → Book a “True North” session today!
