😶When did beating yourself up make things better? (Hint: Never)🫤

A FRESH PERSPECTIVE

The Power of Self-Forgiveness

Hey friend,

Have you ever heard this? The wisdom of Maya Angelou shines through in her words:

“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”

Isn’t it amazing how a single sentence can hold so much truth?

Let’s sit with that for a moment.

How often do we look back at our past selves – in any area of our lives – and think, “I should have known better”? As if we expect to be born with all the wisdom we’ll ever need.

The beautiful truth→ we’re all works in progress, constantly evolving and learning.

The Weight We Carry

I see it all the time – incredible individuals who’ve achieved so much yet still carry the weight of past “mistakes” on their shoulders. We’ve built careers, nurtured families, and pursued passions, but somehow, we still believe that punishing ourselves for not being perfect will somehow make us better.

Let me ask you this:

When was the last time beating yourself up actually made things better? –Like, truth bomb here!

A Fresh Perspective

What if we saw them as stepping stones instead of cringing at those memories? Each one is a lesson learned, a piece of wisdom gained. They’ve led you to where you are now with all the knowledge and experience you’ve gathered along the way.

Try this:

  1. Think of a past decision you’ve been hard on yourself about. It could be a career choice, a conversation with a loved one, or a missed opportunity.
  2. Now, imagine your best friend made that same choice. What would you say to them?
  3. Can you offer yourself that same kindness and understanding?

The Ripple Effect

When we learn to forgive ourselves, something magical happens. We become more compassionate – not just with ourselves, but with others too. Our relationships improve. We take more risks because we know that we’ll be okay even if things don’t work out perfectly.

Here’s the truth→ when we’re not spending all our energy on regret and self-criticism, we have so much more to give to the things that really matter.

  • Our personal growth
  • Our relationships
  • Our passions and purpose

Progress not Perfection

So, the next time you catch yourself in that self-blame spiral, pause. You did the best you could with what you knew then.

And now? Now you know more. That’s something to celebrate!

You’re not the person you were yesterday, last year, or a decade ago. You’re wiser, stronger, and more experienced. And that’s beautiful.

Here’s to embracing our journeys, missteps, and all.

Because, in the end, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about growing, learning, and becoming more fully ourselves with each passing day.

By forgiving yourself, you’re not just letting go of past burdens. You’re opening the door to your inner greatness, allowing yourself to show up more authentically in every aspect of your life.

Until next time, my friend!!

XOXO

Tonya Kay – Life Coach | Speaker

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