Hi friend,
I’m about to tell you something that might sting a little:
The only thing standing between you and the life you actually want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it.
Not your circumstances. Not your responsibilities. Not your past.
The story.
And here’s the empowering part: If you created the story, you can change it.
This Is Your Wake-Up Call
Right now, in this moment, you have more power than you think you do.
You’re not stuck. You’re just really good at convincing yourself that you are.
You’re not too busy. You’re just prioritizing everything except what actually matters to you.
You’re not waiting for the right time. You’re waiting for permission you don’t actually need.
And today? Today you stop waiting.
Because the truth is this: Every single day you continue to believe your own lies is a day you’re choosing comfort over courage. Safety over truth. The familiar over the extraordinary.
And you didn’t come this far to play it safe.
What Changes When You Stop Lying
Let me paint you a picture of what becomes possible:
You reclaim your energy.
All that mental gymnastics you do to justify why you can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t? That takes enormous energy. When you stop lying to yourself, that energy becomes available for actually creating the life you want.
You start making powerful decisions.
When you’re honest about what you actually want (not what you think you should want), decisions become simple. Not easy—simple. And simple decisions create momentum.
You stop betraying yourself.
Every time you say yes when you mean no, you’re lying. Every time you pretend you’re fine when you’re not, you’re lying. When you stop, you start building trust with the most important person in your life: you.
You become the example.
Want to know how to be a changemaker? Start here. Start with telling yourself the truth. Because when you do, you give everyone around you permission to do the same. That’s how movements start—one truth-teller at a time.
You discover what you’re actually capable of.
The lies keep you small. The truth sets you free. And free? Free is where your real power lives.
The Lies That Keep Us Small (And How to Crush Them)
Here are the lies that are running your life right now. I’m naming them because you can’t change what you can’t see.
LIE #1: “I’ll be happy when…”
When the business scales. When the kids are grown. When you finally lose the weight.
The wake-up call: Happiness isn’t a reward for completing tasks. It’s a choice you make with what you have right now. Stop making future-you responsible for present-you’s joy.
The truth that changes everything: I’m choosing to postpone my own happiness—and I can choose differently starting today.
LIE #2: “I have to…”
You have to take that client. Attend that event. Keep everyone happy.
The wake-up call: No, you don’t. You’re choosing to. And that’s actually powerful—because if you’re choosing it, you can choose differently.
The truth that changes everything: Every “have to” is actually a choice I’m making. And I get to make different choices.
LIE #3: “Everyone else is counting on me.”
This one feels noble. Responsible. Selfless.
The wake-up call: When you make yourself indispensable, you rob people of their own power. And you rob yourself of rest, joy, and the chance to discover who you are beyond being needed.
The truth that changes everything: They’re more capable than I’ve been giving them credit for. And I’m more valuable than just what I can do for others.
LIE #4: “This is just how it is.”
The ultimate resignation disguised as acceptance.
The wake-up call: This is how it is right now because this is what you’ve been willing to tolerate. But tolerance isn’t a life sentence. It’s just the baseline you’ve accepted—so far.
The truth that changes everything: This is how it is because I haven’t been willing to do what it takes to create something different. But I can start today.
How to Become a Truth-Teller (And a Changemaker)
Want to change the world? Start by changing your relationship with the truth.
Here’s how:
Get brutally honest about what you’re actually doing.
Not what you wish you were doing. Not what you tell people you’re doing. What you’re actually doing.
Look at your calendar. Look at your bank account. Look at how you spend your energy. That’s your truth.
Stop decorating your lies.
“I just need to get through this busy season” is a lie if you’ve been saying it for three years.
“I can’t afford it” is a lie if you’re spending money on things that don’t align with what you say you want.
“I don’t have time” is a lie if you scroll social media for an hour a day.
Call it what it is.
Ask better questions.
Instead of “Why can’t I?” ask “What would it take?”
Instead of “Why is this so hard?” ask “What am I making harder than it needs to be?”
Instead of “Why does this always happen to me?” ask “What am I doing to create this pattern?”
Better questions lead to better answers.
Take one truth-aligned action today.
Not tomorrow. Today.
One decision that aligns with who you actually are and what you actually want—not who you think you should be.
One boundary that protects your energy instead of everyone else’s comfort.
One conversation you’ve been avoiding.
One small choice that says “I’m done lying to myself.”
Be the example.
You want to be a changemaker? This is where it starts.
When you stop lying to yourself, you give everyone around you permission to do the same.
Your kids see it. Your team sees it. Your friends see it.
And they start asking themselves: “If she can tell herself the truth and choose differently, maybe I can too.”
That’s how you change the world—one truth at a time.
Your 24-Hour Truth Challenge
Here’s what you’re going to do in the next 24 hours:
1. Name one lie you’ve been telling yourself.
Write it down. Don’t soften it. Don’t make it sound better than it is. Just write the truth.
2. Answer this question: “If I stopped believing this lie, what would I do differently this week?”
Be specific. Not “I’d be happier.” That’s not specific. What would you actually do?
3. Do that thing.
Not when you feel ready. Not when it’s convenient. Within 24 hours.
Because action creates clarity. Clarity creates confidence. And confidence creates momentum.
Here’s What I Know About You
You’re not here by accident.
You didn’t stumble onto this email. You opened it because something in you is ready.
Ready to stop pretending. Ready to stop performing. Ready to stop living a life that looks good on paper but feels empty in your soul.
You’re more powerful than the lies you’ve been telling yourself.
You’ve already proven that. You built a business. You raised a family. You navigated transitions that would have broken other people.
You’re not weak. You’re not stuck. You’re not small.
You’re just really good at convincing yourself that you are.
And today? Today you stop.
What Happens Next Is Up to You
This is your moment.
Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not when things slow down or when you feel more ready.
Right now.
You have two choices:
Choice #1: Close this email. Go back to the comfortable lies. Back to “I’ll deal with it later.” Back to the version of your life that looks successful but feels suffocating.
Choice #2: Decide that today is the day you stop negotiating with your own potential. That today is the day you choose truth over comfort. That today is the day you start living like the powerful, capable, extraordinary person you actually are.
Nobody’s coming to save you.
Nobody’s coming to give you permission.
Nobody’s coming to tell you when it’s time.
It’s already time. And you already know it.
The only question is: What are you going to do about it?
Because here’s the real truth: You’re not going to lie on your deathbed wishing you’d been more comfortable.
You’re going to wish you’d been braver.
So be brave. Starting today.
Tell yourself the truth. Make the choice. Take the action.
Be the changemaker—starting with yourself.
P.S. That uncomfortable feeling you have right now? That’s not fear. That’s your truth demanding to be heard. Don’t ignore it. That feeling is the beginning of everything you’ve been waiting for.
Ready to Stop Lying and Start Leading?
→ Email me at hello@tonyakay.co – Let’s have a real conversation about the truth you’re ready to claim and the life you’re ready to create.
→ Book a Truth-to-Action Breakthrough Session – 60 minutes to get brutally honest about where you are, crystal clear about where you want to be, and create your roadmap to get there. No fluff. Just truth and action.
This is how you become a changemaker:
- You start by telling yourself the truth.
- Then you take action on that truth.
- Then you become living proof that change is possible.
That’s your assignment. Now go do it.
